Bullying Looks Somewhat Different Now, But Not Entirely

Click:how to figure out your life path number​

TUCSON, AZ — Cyberbullying has increased the threat to students, but in many ways, bullying hasn’t changed that much since I was in high school in an area west of Phoenix in the late 1980s. I was never the victim of bullying, but like 70 percent of youths in schools today, as stopbullying.gov reported, I did see others getting bullied during my school days.

One of my strongest recollections of school bullying was one day when I attempted to go back to my locker between classes and saw a multi-layered throng of my fellow high school classmates gathered in a U-shape around what I first thought was just a high school fight. I was among the last to get to the impromptu “event,” and was only there because my locker was tucked away inside the fighting area.

Now, I don’t remember ever seeing the bully’s face, but I do remember, through a wall of my classmates’ heads, seeing the target staggering against the lockers after having been thrown yet another punch by the bully. I remember seeing that he had no fighting skills, and would take several hits before the “fight” ended. This was well before the PACER Center’s 2006 National Bullying Prevention Month campaign began, and well before there was any particular awareness of the practice of “bullying.” That word was around, but I never heard it used at school.

Everything back then was just called a “fight.” But this one was totally unfair.

This was one of two instances in which my classmates gathered like the ancient Romans at the Coliseum to see the defenseless boy pummeled. I remember asking someone in the crowd why he was being targeted. The answer: because he was gay. I thought at the time that was an odd reason to hit someone.

LGBT, ‘Different’ Students Targeted

However, according to information from the National Association of School Psychologists, LGBTQ youths are still often among those who are most targeted for bullying, along with students with intellectual, mental or physical disabilities. Those whom other students think are “different” in socioeconomic status, clothing and weight are also often targeted by kids who bully, too, as well as those who appear to have low self-esteem or inability to defend themselves.

It was a double whammy for my classmate.

But not all bullying victims fall in those groups.

Some are talented achievers such as Mallory Grossman, a 12-year-old Rockaway Township, New Jersey seventh grader who participated in cheer and gymnastics but killed herself after being bullied on social media and at school.

Being in middle school, like Grossman was, is a particularly tenuous time when the most kids who bully will emerge, according to Da’Mond T. Holt, the bullying prevention specialist for the Tucson Unified School District.

“We see aggression increases a lot in sixth grade going into middle school. I think this is why, now, a lot of principals ask me to do a lot of (bullying) prevention work at fifth grade, before they feed into the middle schools.”

Sixth grade is when my best friend at the time started publicly taunting another girl in our class about her frizzy, unruly hair. It happened every time we saw that girl. This appeared to satisfy some need for superiority for my friend. I, unfortunately, was her unthinking minion and spineless sidekick during the episodes (cringe) and never thought about what effect my friend’s belittling had on the girl.

Again, verbal bullying wasn’t really talked about back then, but it mirrors the same practices today.

The Bad And The Ugly

Arizona has two anti-bullying laws for schools, ARS 15-2301, outlining hazing prevention at educational institutions, and ARS 15-341, stipulating that educational institutions must:

“Prescribe and enforce policies and procedures to prohibit pupils from harassing, intimidating and bullying other pupils on school grounds, on school property, on school buses, at school bus stops, at school-sponsored events and activities and through the use of electronic technology or electronic communication on school computers, networks, forums and mailing lists …”

The statute does not define what “harassing, intimidating, and bullying” means, but requires each school district to do so.

At TUSD, Holt explains, bullying involves malicious intent to harm another student or students repeatedly, including verbal bullying, physical bullying or cyberbullying — that is, intimidating, threatening and humiliating others via emails, texts, social media and other technologies. School officials say both boys and girls are about equally guilty when it comes to bullying their classmates.

At TUSD, verbal and cyberbullying are most common, perhaps because physical bullying —usually done by males and including elements such as shoving, hitting, pushing or destroying property — has stronger disciplinary consequences and easier incident investigation, Holt said.

The two other forms of bullying are more difficult to investigate.

“When you talk verbal or cyber bullying, it’s a little more stealth — not as flamboyant as physical bullying,” Holt explained. “You’ve really got to investigate the facts when it’s verbal bullying because, obviously, there are no bruises, no cuts.”

Holt said both genders engage in cyberbullying, while verbal bullying is most often perpetuated by girls and includes spreading rumors, manipulation or exclusion of friendships.

By the time the friend who bullied the girl over her hair and I were in high school, our class schedules didn’t mesh and we only hung out occasionally. But she began more stealthily harassing another girl about her physical appearance, usually by giving fake compliments, then turning around and telling me how ugly that girl was — as the character Regina did in the movie “Mean Girls.”

But soon after, I found my backbone. Rather than stand by my friend’s side as she sarcastically demeaned, I hung back, talking to another friend. I had begun to think more about the effects her bullying was having on her targets.

My friend eventually played the “exclusion of friendships card” in regard to another friend of mine who was a very kind person but didn’t meet her standards of clothing and appearance. And then my friend issued me an ultimatum: It was either my new friend or her. I stood my ground. I wasn’t dropping my new friend.

It was the end of the old friendship, but I’ve never regretted the decision. My friends since then have all been kind and respectful of others, a requirement after my former friendship ended.

But what had I not understood all those years regarding the psychological ramifications of bullying?

In that respect, nothing has changed. Kids who are bullied, whether it’s physical, verbal or online, are more prone to anxiety and depression. They’re likely to be truant to avoid their bullies, their grades suffer and they’re more likely to drop out of school. They may engage in self-harm, such as cutting. And though the federal Centers for Disease and Control is careful to say there’s no research showing bullying causes suicide, teens who are bullied are at more risk to consider it.

How TUSD Is Getting In Front Of Bullying

The first few words of ARS 15-341 require school districts to “prescribe and enforce policies and procedures to prohibit pupils from harassing, intimidating and bullying other pupils.” That’s where Holt comes in at TUSD with bullying prevention strategies. Though TUSD declined to release bullying statistics to Patch, Holt says the numbers have decreased overall since he joined the district three years ago.

“When I came on board, bullying incidents were really off the charts. And when we began to get the bullying prevention program started, we quickly began to see some decreases,” Holt explained.

In his first year, Holt wasn’t able to focus districtwide. So some schools saw decreases in bullying, while others saw increases. But complaints have decreased districtwide under a proactive strategy that emphasizes preventive over punitive measures. Disciplinary action such as suspension still happens, but a “restorative” approach to repair the relationship between the bully and the target is often the first line of bullying mitigation at TUSD.

“Sometimes it’s not even appropriate to bring the victim and bully together. But there are times under certain circumstances where both kids want to apologize and make things right, and that’s a real opportunity to bring restoration to that broken relationship,” Holt explained. “The data shows that when we focus more on doing more restoratives, it changes the cultural climate, not just the classroom, not just the bullying situation, but for the whole school.”

To aid in prevention, Holt also works with parents, teachers and students to raise awareness of bullying, to better identify it and to stop it. One way he does that is by giving anti-bullying assemblies at all TUSD schools to all grades, starting at kindergarten. In the assemblies, Holt defines bullying, addresses the types of bullying and its effects on fellow classmates, and reminds kids how to be kind to classmates.

He also emphasizes at the assemblies that students should report bullying when they see it.

“Don’t be afraid not to report it because you’re afraid of looking like a tattletale,” he tells the kids, saying there’s a difference between telling and being a tattletale. But he doesn’t like the assemblies to be like a dull lecture, so Holt tries to add in fun elements.

“Kids are screaming, having a good time,” he said.

It doesn’t stop there. Holt’s proactive bullying prevention efforts also extend to the district’s teachers and counselors so they know what to look for and what the next steps are if a student reports a bullying incident to them.

TUSD’s bullying preemptive strikes also include talking to parents about how to prevent it and what bullying really is, according to Holt.

“Sometimes parents overly use the word ‘bullied,’ saying, ‘My kid is bullied, my kid is bullied,’ ” Holt said. “Sometimes they’re not, they’re just in a conflict with another kid.”

Click Here: cheap sydney roosters jersey

At other times, parents are right and their kids are truly being bullied, but the district wants parents to know the difference. So Holt provides workshops and classes for parents, too.

What’s Next After Bullying?

Tucson students can report bullying incidents to any supervising adult or school staff members including a counselor, teacher, principal, assistant principal, security monitor, cafeteria staff, or a police officer or parent.

The safety of the targeted person always comes first, Holt said, adding, “we always protect the victim and let the victim know they are not alone, and we’re always doing what we can to put things in place to make sure they’re safe.”

Next, the staff sends a clear message to the student who is bullying that intimidating and harassing behaviors are not acceptable.

Every bullying complaint at TUSD is taken seriously, Holt emphasized. During the first 24-48 hours, an official complaint is made and an investigation is opened. Sometimes a meeting is called with a counselor, teacher and the principal to inform everyone of measures being taken to protect the victim. Such protections might involve changing the seating chart in a specific class or sometimes changing classes to eliminate contact with the bully.

Parents of the both the bully and the target are notified so they can be involved in addressing the situation.

“Parents are very crucial. One of the big mistakes that sometimes we see is that parents are not included enough,” Holt said. “Sometimes I’ve gotten calls from parents saying, ‘I can’t even believe this is happening. I did not know this was going on.’

“I don’t think any parent should have kids going to school when their children are not safe and the parents are the last ones to know about it. That really gets parents upset and rightfully so.”

Is Someone You Know Being Bullied, Or Are You?

According to the Pew Research Center, 59 percent of U.S. students are cyberbullied, and the National Association of School Psychologists reported that 160,000 students nationally don’t attend school so they can stay away from their bullies. And NoBully.org data reveals that one in three kids attending school in the U.S. is affected by bullies.

But how do you know if your child, family member or friend is being bullied at school? Here are some warning signs from the National Association of School Psychologists:

Holt also encourages those to targeted by bullying to immediately report it.

“If a kid is being bullied, do not go the whole school season or semester feeling intimidated and being scared out of your life,” he said. “I want every child to tell somebody. And if you tell someone and they’re not listening, you need to tell Dr. Holt.”

The Menace Of Bullies: Patch Advocacy Reporting Project

As part of a national reporting project, Patch has been looking at society’s roles and responsibilities in bullying and a child’s unthinkable decision to end their own life in hopes we might offer solutions that save lives.

Do you have a story to tell? Are you concerned about how your local schools handle bullies and their victims?

Email us at [email protected] and share your views in the comments.

Selected Stories From The Project