My Mom Was Killed in Sandy Hook. Now I’m Fighting to Prevent Gun Violence

I’ve had MSNBC on since the Florida shooting, and they keep flashing to an image of an FBI agent leading elementary school students out of the building through the parking lot. My mom’s car, a Chevy Traverse, is in the background. They flash to that picture and then back to a similar one of students being evacuated in Florida, saying “the deadliest since…” Sandy Hook is no longer a school, Sandy Hook is no longer a town, Sandy Hook is a comparison.

My goal is to not let my mom turn into a statistic. To not let her death be in vain. I want her to be remembered—and I want people to not have to feel how I feel and have felt for the last five years.

Part of that healing, for me, was working with Everytown Survivor Network, an ever-growing club of survivors and their families. Shortly after my mother was killed, I spent a lot of time with Steve Barton from the Aurora movie theater shooting and Colin Goddard, who was shot in Virginia Tech, and I asked them almost on a loop, “OK, tell me exactly what you felt, tell me what you saw, tell me exactly what you heard.” I had them walk me through every aspect of the shooting. It’s almost like I wanted to know what my mom was thinking and feeling and smelling and hearing in her last seconds. That almost eased my mind. I thought, ‘OK, well, when Colin was shot, it was numbing, so maybe she didn’t feel that much pain.’ I don’t think I would’ve survive that first couple of years without people who were willing to share their experiences with me, and now I do the same for people who are a little more fresh into this club that no one wants to be a part of.

What can you do? The best thing that everyone can do is pay attention. Find out where your elected officials stand. Do they have a track record of trying to prevent tragedies? Or do they receive funding from the NRA? If they don’t have a history of supporting common-sense gun legislation, find someone who will. And in November, go to the ballot box and vote for them.

—As told to Romy Oltuski

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